Hi to the whole Complete Men Community,

I was about to write Happy Fathers’ Day in the subject, but then I remembered that it’s not always a happy day for every father or son. On reflection, I’ve had some great fathers days and some shockers – as both a father of my own sons and as a son of my own father.

Some of the bad ones included when I was still coming to terms with my separation from their mother, or when I went through a stage of not talking to my own Dad. And there have also been some wonderful memories, of taking my old man out to lunch, or getting served breakfast in bed by my cute 5 year old twin boys.

This year is one of the good ones for me, and while I miss my Dad (who died 12 years ago), I’m grateful to other men and wise elders who have been like de facto fathers to me along the way – giving me their acceptance, encouragement, inspiration and the occasional boot up the arse when I got off track.

I’m also grateful that I can also pass along some of that encouragement, inspiration and fatherly love to other men who no longer get it from their own fathers.

So this Fathers day, I’m writing to you (and to myself) to express my gratitude. I’m then going to phone my Mum and share some memories of Dad with her.  I’m also reflecting on the gifts I received from my father – some of which I wanted and some of which I didn’t.

“Fixing things with your father” is a fundamental part of menswork and is the first of the seven steps to Manhood in Steve Biddulph’s book – the New Manhood (Joining a Men’s Group is the seventh one).  Now that Dad’s no longer on this planet, I can get my Dad fix by authentically connecting with another man, and I wish the same spirit lifting connection to each of you.

With gratitude and love

Tim (Founder of Complete Men)